Dr. Stanley Goldstein - Author and Psychologist

A sad article in The Wall Street Journal ("A Bat Infestation, Postponed Surgeries and Unpaid Bills: A Hospital Chain in Crisis - March 20, 2024) sounds like the script for a horror movie for which my following scene is suggested. Doctor tells patient: "That bite on your neck is NOT from a vampire bat but from one of our common hospital bats. The FDA-approved Garlic Wreath pinned to your gown provides 94% protection against mortal or immortal wounding so do not fret. You and your husband will become accustomed to its odor and may even find it erotic. This is why its commercial name is 'Ordasm.'"