Dr. Stanley Goldstein - Author and Psychologist

I've long been puzzled why some children in therapy who have no problem reading won't spontaneously read or profess to dislike it. Having tentatively concluded that, since reading involves the active use of the self, this creates anxiety for these disturbed children and motivates this resistance. But I've also encountered seriously disturbed children who read many books a week.

 

Certainly, there may be other contributing factors besides psychopathology: whether early-life parent encouragement of reading existed; the child never having grasped the escapist, soothing possibilities of reading fiction; or their over-involvement in another activity such as video games whose obsessive-compulsive elements reduce anxiety and is one reason for their popularity.

 

In any case, this would seem a worthwhile topic for study. And now the idea is yours!

After telling me his nightmare, a patient rejected my interpretation of it as reflecting anger toward his mother. "No, my mother always loved me," he said. Which may have been true for her relinquishing of parental rights enabled the patient's life to dramatically improve after his adoption and psychotherapy.

It is hard to accept being unloved at birth. Though the helpless infant can survive without physical care, psychological neglect can equally damage their future. And the most important person in their earliest years is their mother or mothering figure. Viewing the world with an immature mind, every child considers their parents to be omniscient. Thus if the child is unloved, it must be their fault.

 

Only with maturity, and possibly psychotherapy, can one accept a basic psychological truth: that while all children are lovable at birth, some mothers ore incapable of providing it. For this realization to occur, two things must happen: an acceptance of their parent's limitations, and their own.

Though knowing only published reports, Weiner’s self-defeating behavior has one positive element: it reminds people of the power of unconscious motivation. A gifted psychoanalyst once wrote of his patient, a surgeon, who repeatedly exposed himself publicly. This risky behavior ended after the doctor’s interpretation: the surgeon’s behavior lay rooted in early  Read More 

It has long been accepted that it is improper for a mental health clinician to publicly express a judgment about a politician unless they examined them and had their consent to do so. Still, this disgraceful behavior is common.

And one must be especially careful when speaking with reporters though with some this doesn’ Read More 

1. Watch over me.
2. Monitor me for safety.
3. Help me when I need help but don’t be intrusive or bossy.
4. Sometimes, just be my playmate.

“Narcissistic” is often used pejoratively to describe an immature person though it, and the denial of truth, are normal ego defenses against anxiety. While these mental mechanisms, if broadly used, are pathological for adults, they have valuable benefits.

When confronting knowledge of an exceptionally painful situation such as a serious illness or severe  Read More 

During my first job, as a psychologist at a psychiatric hospital, I told my psychoanalyst/supervisor my adolescent patient’s statement. “That’s psychotic,” the doctor replied. Though able to define “psychotic,” until that moment I hadn’t grasped the power of this condition.
Similarly, when the latest horrors became public–the mass murders  Read More 

I was once interviewed by a trade magazine reporter for an article relating to my book, Through Children’s Minds: The Marketing and Creation of Children’s Products. She has a Ph.D. in art history, writes long, engaging restaurant reviews, and has begun writing fiction. We had several phone conversations that became personal  Read More 

It has long been stated that the greatest fear is of public speaking: having to appear before an audience and "deliver." I can still remember my terror when speaking before a high school school class and likely most have shared this experience.

In later years, when public speaking became important in my career, I learned  Read More 

People instinctively know, despite how they might then feel, that their life is not over when a relationship ends: that the abused wife can move on, and the battered teenager can find a better home.

Or two sisters may relate pathologically, being hatefully tied to each other with their love being overlain by envy or  Read More