Dr. Stanley Goldstein - Author and Psychologist

News reports identified the murdered woman who was burned alive on a New York City subway as fifty-seven-year-old Debrina Kawam of Toms River, New Jersey. She had briefly stayed in a New York City homeless shelter despite her conventional early life. Forty-years before she was a high-school cheerleader with the public hope to be an airline stewardess and secret desire to "party forever." She was one of three girls voted to have a "million-dollar smile." Though working in her thirties as customer service representative for Merck, the giant pharmaceutical company, her life had been less than auspicious containing dozens of minor arrests for trespassing, public drinking, and disorderly conduct. She filed for bankruptcy in 2008 and her relationship with her romantic partner from 2011 to 2014 was chaotic.

The emotional conflicts precipitating Ms. Kawam's descent can only be speculated. At her father's death she described him as having been "the best father a daughter could have had" with the "regret that it took me later in life to figure that out." These statements may indicate that she ignored his sound advice. That alcohol abuse played a role seems likely in view of her many arrests for public drinking and disorderly conduct. Still, as with all troubled souls, she did her best, having lacked the needed support structure.
Yet while her burned body molders in the grave, her killer will enjoy for the remainder of his life, free food and health care and, in New York State prisons, a laptop, free college study (if desired), drugs (methadone) if he claims to be a drug abuser, and even a medical change of sex if sought.

Not fair. Not just. There is a justice of lawyers and the courtroom, and a justice of the Prophets and of God. Nuff said.

Published comments from those having earlier interactions with the alleged Idaho killer of four youths, Bryan Kohberger, are similar to those arising after other mass killings in which common behaviors are considered to have foreshadowed violence. These, for Mr. Kohberger, included student criicism of his harsh grading (which lessened as did his apparent teaching motivation following student protest), and talking down to a fellow graduate student. A quickness of temper was also noted by past acquaintances. All of which can be said of virtually every college teaching associate. For most this task is their first teaching assignment which can be frightening. Losing job motivation and easing grading when confronted with student protest would not be unexpected develpments.
Perhaps part of the human need to quickly comment is our horror at the crime and desire to distinguish between the criminal and ourselves, to emphasize that we could never commit such heinous act.Which is true for virtually all unless addled by drugs or alcohol. Yet this attitude also reflects the widespread ignorance of child development, ego psychology, and especially the powerful influence of early parenting on a child's immature mind, the years when beliefs and impulses are created which become the bedrock of adult personality. And as I never tire of stating, the unconscious is very powerful and one must respect its power.

This week's "murder most foul" was done by a Los Angeles mother who killed three of her children. Being apparently psychotic, she was unlike romantically fanciful Vicky White, the Alabama prison official who ran off with her imprisoned murderer-lover. Psychotic behavior, no matter how horrible, is easier to understand than the self-defeating act of a clearly sane person. While inmates are manipulative, what could have motivated a woman with a stable, established life to run away with a six-foot nine-inch prisoner for whom disguise is impossible. Instead of the suicide-by-cop which a lawman predicted, Vicky shot herself to avoid arrest.
The same week, in my area, Sean Armstead, a ten-year veteran of New York City's Police Department, tracked his wife to a meeting with her lover, then killed him and himself. Why, for if a marriage goes bust isn't divorce the smarter option?
Yet Vicky's and Sean's behavior have (possible) ready explanations: a hunger for love, and the hurt and wounding of self-esteem when it is denied.
Through evolution, humans have become increasingly conscious and deliberative. But the unconscious is powerful and one should not risk ignoring its power.

During my first job, as a psychologist at a psychiatric hospital, I told my psychoanalyst/supervisor my adolescent patient's statement. "That's psychotic," the doctor replied. Though able to define "psychotic," until that moment I hadn't grasped the power of this condition.

 

Similarly, when the latest horrors become public, the perpetrators are usually viewed with surprise since they look so normal, lacking the twisted features of horror film characters and speaking coherently though of bogus beliefs. Columnists then ask the usual question of "why," and provide their usual answer that "no one knows" but this is not true. While predicting violence cannot be certain, it correlates highly with several factors: failure in life; substance abuse; the psychological (ego) capacities governing thinking and behavior being inadequately developed; and having a fragmented "sense of self" (sense of who they are).

 

The killer's frequent decision, to suicide in "glory," is considered preferable to their continued painful existence.Though their act is horrendous, these individuals are not often considered "insane" which is a legal term determined by state statute. Most usually whether a person can distinguish "right" from "wrong" and, contrary to popular belief, rarely succeeds as a defense.

 

But to describe these individuals as sane does not imply that they possessed normal control over their behavior. Still, except for those possessing extreme psychological limitations, this should not influence their punishment. There is evil in the world and some succumb to its temptation. Yet even for others, the unconscious is very powerful and one must respect its power.

The recent murder of eighteen-year-old Barnard College student, Tessa Majors, during an armed robbery in a nearby park at nightfall was shocking but unsurprising. Common sense is that one should not walk alone (or even with someone) at that time in that place. My statement is not meant to place blame on the unfortunate victim but rather to assert that Barnard should have educated its students, many of whom are new to New York City, about City ways. Or, in other words, given them "street smarts." Would doing this have saved Tessa's life? Perhaps not since teenagers can be impulsive. But, having done so, Barnard's administrators might now sleep more easily.

These killings reminded me of the past killing of the New York City psychologist (Fahey) by a colleague's patient. The psychiatrist had seen him briefly, seventeen years before. Now, the patient brought a hatchet, intending to kidnap the psychiatrist, hold him for ransom, and get his mother out of a nursing home. Fahey heard  Read More 

The flood of shocking employee killings, most recently in Virginia of two TV reporters, raised the usual question: How can the seriously distressed worker be distinguished from those few that become violent? Unfortunately, they often can’t.
Behavior and environment play their roles. Excessive alcohol and drug use increase the likelihood of impulsive, unwise  Read More 

During my first job, as a psychologist at a psychiatric hospital, I told my psychoanalyst/supervisor my adolescent patient’s statement. “That’s psychotic,” the doctor replied. Though able to define “psychotic,” until that moment I hadn’t grasped the power of this condition.
Similarly, when the latest horrors became public–the mass murders  Read More